A mother and son are walking through
a cemetery and pass by a headstone
inscribed "Here lies a good lawyer and
an honest man." The little boy reads the
headstone, looks up at his mother and
asks "Mommy, why did they bury two
men there?"
A man goes to the doctor and says "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts"
The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch
my knee, "OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really really hurts"
The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you, you've broken your finger!
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other says: "Slim. I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really ! Like a newborn baby?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth. and I think I just wet my pants."
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